Wednesday, November 29, 2006

See What You Think...

Sharing a(nother) funny ad I found. Seems there's big money in capitalizing on the assumptions people make...

Thanks to for posting this over at Google Video.

Friday, November 24, 2006

The all-new, all-faboo Walmart?

Two Conservative Christian groups that had threatened a boycott of Walmart and Sam's Club on Black Friday called it off, which is good.

Had the challenge to Christians not to shop at the mega-retailers gone forward, the results would have been devastating...
...I can just imagine all those empty churches. (Oh come on, if the average red-blooded/red state family had to choose between church and cheap porch furniture, who would you bet on?)

The best part is the reason behind the planned boycott: That Walmart was "pro-gay." I mean, really, is there anything farther from gay than Walmart?

Don't get me wrong. I'm pretty sure Walmart isn't anti-gay. If you show up at the cashier and try to pay with your Divas of the Stage Specialty Check, I'm sure they'll take it.

But pro-gay?

I mean, the employees wear vests -- and not leather ones, blue nylon-blend vests. They specialize in things like NASCAR memorobilia and Larry the Cable Guy DVD's...
...and all their lube products are in the automotive department.

Somehow I think Walmart is still clearly within the bounds of hetero-friendly shops.

And as for their Sam's Club -- if they were really worried about a shopping club being pro-homosexual, don't you think they'd start with the one called B.J.'s?!

But wait, there's more (UPDATE)

You've got to assume the surgery didn't go well...

A man from Reamstown, PA was sentenced this week after attempting to bomb the physician that performed his penis enlargement surgery.

The sentence is five years...
...but I'm betting he'll tell everyone it's "more like six."

Monday, November 20, 2006

Oh man, is this guy busted...

"Hello, CrimeStoppers? I think I have a lead on a suspect..."

Special thanks to Chonks place for having a camera ready at the right moment. Damn, that's funny Chonk.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Abusing the News: Little Wave, Major Confession

CBS News recently presented a piece on the abuse of the elderly. Apparently this is a growing problem for our older citizens. Of course, for younger generations that want to avoid being abused as a senior, eating red meat, smoking and driving fast are good tips.

Yesterday, General John Abizaid, chief of the U.S. Central Command, suggested it was time for "Major Change" in Iraq. After this announcement, several Majors across Iraq offered to be the first ones changed.

Also yesterday, a tsunami that threatened Japan delivered a wave of only 16 inches. The only time 16 inches causes hysteria at the beach if when it's wrapped in a towel on Fire Island.

Speaking of surprising events, I'm sure you've heard that O.J. Simpson has published a book that explains how he would have killed Nicole and her boyfriend if he did it. Is this all part of his master plan to flush out the real killer, or is it the "confession" the publisher has called it?

Either way, I'm betting John Karr is pissed that O.J. got to confess to it before he did.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Blonde v. Brunette: Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Nothing beats a night out at the bar...

I received an edited version of this one via e-mail, but found this longer version when I did a little digging. Judging from the advertiser and the accent, it seems like it's a British ad.

Want to see a bar contest where the blonde wins? Fine, click here.
If you'd rather read your comedy, click here.

You can also look for other entries by clicking on one of the labels below. Enjoy...

BU docId=1956582780154404446&hl=en

Friday, November 03, 2006

Holy Meth

It all started with a headline that read Reverend Resigns in Gay Sex Scandal...

You see, at first glance it looked more like "Reverend Reigns in Gay Sex Scandal," which is totally different.

I mean Ted Haggerts' gay sex, male prostitute and meth scandal is pretty big news, but I'm not sure it automatically gets him "reigning" status. After all, we still don't know all the details of Mark Folley's page scandal, and, of course, Jim McGreevey's sex scandal is still on the best seller list.

It's really a three-way race...which is ironic, because a three-way would probably put one of them in the lead.

Now if there is a race going on, Haggert does seem to be in it to win it. I mean, he didn't just stray a little from the straight and narrow, he took a running leap away from it.

Look, every preacher is human, but you'd expect them to have less grievous transgressions. You tell me an evangelist had an affair, rented a porno or tore the tags off his mattress, that's not a eye opener. But using a male prostitute and buying meth, that's someone committed to getting his freak on.

Of course, Haggert's story is that he didn't have sex with the prostitute and that he just bought meth from him because he was curious about it -- and he didn't use it. Now, if your curious about meth, couldn't you just do some reading, maybe watch SPUN, or take a look at that faces page?

Ted is a good conservative -- heck, he used to call the White House on a regular basis...he should know that conservatives don't use prostitutes to get drugs. Conservatives get drugs from special dealers known as "Doctors."

Also, if Ted did want to have an affair, he doesn't have to pay for a partner:

He should take a page from McGreevey and have the people you work for pay for it.
I mean, doesn't this guy read anything?

Looking for more dark commentary? Try this post.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

She's Just Doin' Her Time

I admit it, it's a lazy Thursday for the lazycomic. Still, I wanted to take a minute to bring you something pretty damn funny.

Yep, it's another ad, and yes, it's another import. Enjoy it, and I'll be back soon with a misguided, ticked-off rant about something...

If you missed the IKEA ads, click here.
If you'd rather read your comedy, click here.

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