Beware Flying Printers

I deserve a raise. You know why? Because I am a damn fine document feeder. You know who doesn’t deserve a raise? The person that designed my printer.

You know why?

BECAUSE THE DOCUMENT FEEDER ON MY PRINTER S-U-C-K-S.

Now, let’s suppose you wrote “SUCKS” on five sheets of paper and then tried to fax it, scan it or copy it to explain how you feel about your printer.

Here’s what you’d get:

S

U

Please clear and reload.

…and by the by, I’m being kind on the U – it usually doesn’t make it all the way through the second page.

Now, if the thing that looks like a document feeder, takes documents like a document feeder and then proceeds to jam is actually an Automatic Document Jam tray, then I apologize – it’s working just friggin’ beautifully.

Or, if it’s supposed to be a spoiler than it’s not bad either. Of course, the only way to find out for sure would be to make the printer move at a high velocity and see if the spoiler keeps it from leaving the ground…

…which gives me an idea.

Tags:
funny observational+humor humor lazycomic

Now look what you did...

Well, I've been thinking for a while that it might be time to change the template. For one thing, I had messed with the last one so much the code was kinda like CSS/HTML vomit: you couldn't kinda tell what it was supposed to be, but you really didn't want to look at for too long.

Also, Blogger (where I blog) now has some cool WYSIWYG features for their "new" templates that pride...and laziness...were holding me back from.

That said, I was still taking my sweet time getting to the conversion, until I went in to make a just a few tweaks to my previous template. A "Save" later and the blog was basically useless - I don't think it was showing the posts at all, and well, that's kind of a deal-breaker.

So here we are, with the 2nd new template of the day (if you're looking at rounded rectangles on a blue background that is...if not, then I've messed with it AGAIN since I wrote this).

This one has a lot of what I'm looking for (in case you cared) - like a good window casing, or a rental tux, it shrinks and expands a little bit, but not enough to get too bent outta shape. It's easy to read, works with the stuff I'm adding, and hip enough to look like I might know what I'm doing. I have no idea if it works on iPhones, Blackberries or with every browser on the block - but I can bet my old template had issues in at least some of these areas.

Anyway, I'm sure they'll be more edits, etc. as time moves forward. Just wanted to let you know that if you thought this was now a new blog you're outta luck.

You're still stuck with this one.

With Apologies to the Masochists

You know who you are. You've come here before, maybe several times, and tortured yourself by trying to read my blog with Firefox.

Well, the self-inflicted pain of trying to decipher my decidedly un-firefox-friendly layout is over...or at least reduced.

With some help from kind souls at netscape.public.mozilla.general who were kind enough to look at my "trainwreck" of code, I think I've managed to make my blog more tolerable for Firefox users.

It's still a little congested in Firefox, and a little bland to look at (yeah, I know, and to read sometimes), but at least its a little smoother. A whole template overhaul is in order, but I wouldn't hold your breath...

...unless you're in to that kind of thing.

P.S. I also fixed my factorizer code so that my last post should actually show you cool, random facts about me. Sorry for the glitch.