"Hello, CrimeStoppers? I think I have a lead on a suspect..."
Special thanks to Chonks place for having a camera ready at the right moment. Damn, that's funny Chonk.
Jokes, observations, how the world should run...you get the idea. Kind of like Howard Stern with shorter hair or David Letterman with, well, hair. Not really for kids. On a good day, I'd like to think it's funny like Jon Stewart or Lewis Black. On a bad day it's funny like old mayonnaise. Enjoy...please.
"Hello, CrimeStoppers? I think I have a lead on a suspect..."
CBS News recently presented a piece on the abuse of the elderly. Apparently this is a growing problem for our older citizens. Of course, for younger generations that want to avoid being abused as a senior, eating red meat, smoking and driving fast are good tips.
Yesterday, General John Abizaid, chief of the U.S. Central Command, suggested it was time for "Major Change" in Iraq. After this announcement, several Majors across Iraq offered to be the first ones changed.
Also yesterday, a tsunami that threatened Japan delivered a wave of only 16 inches. The only time 16 inches causes hysteria at the beach if when it's wrapped in a towel on Fire Island.
Speaking of surprising events, I'm sure you've heard that O.J. Simpson has published a book that explains how he would have killed Nicole and her boyfriend if he did it. Is this all part of his master plan to flush out the real killer, or is it the "confession" the publisher has called it?
Either way, I'm betting John Karr is pissed that O.J. got to confess to it before he did.
Nothing beats a night out at the bar...
I received an edited version of this one via e-mail, but found this longer version when I did a little digging. Judging from the advertiser and the accent, it seems like it's a British ad.
It all started with a headline that read Reverend Resigns in Gay Sex Scandal...
You see, at first glance it looked more like "Reverend Reigns in Gay Sex Scandal," which is totally different.
I mean Ted Haggerts' gay sex, male prostitute and meth scandal is pretty big news, but I'm not sure it automatically gets him "reigning" status. After all, we still don't know all the details of Mark Folley's page scandal, and, of course, Jim McGreevey's sex scandal is still on the best seller list.
It's really a three-way race...which is ironic, because a three-way would probably put one of them in the lead.
Now if there is a race going on, Haggert does seem to be in it to win it. I mean, he didn't just stray a little from the straight and narrow, he took a running leap away from it.
Look, every preacher is human, but you'd expect them to have less grievous transgressions. You tell me an evangelist had an affair, rented a porno or tore the tags off his mattress, that's not a eye opener. But using a male prostitute and buying meth, that's someone committed to getting his freak on.
Of course, Haggert's story is that he didn't have sex with the prostitute and that he just bought meth from him because he was curious about it -- and he didn't use it. Now, if your curious about meth, couldn't you just do some reading, maybe watch SPUN, or take a look at that faces page?
Ted is a good conservative -- heck, he used to call the White House on a regular basis...he should know that conservatives don't use prostitutes to get drugs. Conservatives get drugs from special dealers known as "Doctors."
Also, if Ted did want to have an affair, he doesn't have to pay for a partner:
He should take a page from McGreevey and have the people you work for pay for it.
I mean, doesn't this guy read anything?
I admit it, it's a lazy Thursday for the lazycomic. Still, I wanted to take a minute to bring you something pretty damn funny.
Yep, it's another ad, and yes, it's another import. Enjoy it, and I'll be back soon with a misguided, ticked-off rant about something...