Thursday, October 12, 2006

Goin' South of the Beltway

Like the piercing green eyes of a nubile young page, the Foley Page Scandal continues to haunt the vaulted (and possibly sticky) halls of Congress.

Recent reports indicate that members of Majority Leader Hastert's office were told of inappropriate conduct by Foley long before he broke down and left congress, but Hastert continues to deny being told.

I know, two politicians both obviously telling the truth and yet somehow disagreeing... boggles the mind.

My theory? The only explanation is that it was a simple misunderstanding.

For instance, when Foley's ex-chief of staff allegedly warned Hastert's cheif of staff , maybe he left a message that read something like this:

"Please tell the House Leader I'm concerned,
Mark Foley seems intent on bending over pages."

In this case, if Hastert saw the message, he would've thought that Congressman Foley was, at worst, molesting the sheets of a house bill, not trying to get under the sheets with page William.

Or, if Congressmans Rodney Alexander's chief of staff left a message that read something like this:

"Be advised:
Rep. Foley unusually interested in
'below the belt' activities."

See, this could have been interpreted to mean that Foley just wanted to spend some time south of DC, like down in Virginia -- instead of spending time in DC down on...
...well, you get the idea.

Of course, Foley has checked himself in for alcohol addiction, as if booze was behind his problem.
Personally, I don't think alcohol can be blamed for causing an otherwise hetrosexual to start liking young men. I mean, if that was true whenever a group of men started drinking beer they'd end up watching a bunch of sweaty, muscular men running and jumping...

...wait a second. Maybe Foley's on to something.

1 comment:

  1. I totally agree, those are the only plausible explanations.

    Enjoyed this post...laughter through the tears, baby.

    The whole situation boggles the mind. And Hastert won't step down... WTF??



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