Thursday, September 07, 2006

Into the Light

So, I'm taking a shower this morning and I realize something:

Why do I turn the lights on before I get in the shower? Don't get me wrong, I don't want to shower in the dark, but I'm not a milkman, so there's plenty of sunlight coming in when I start the water running.

So why do I need it to be operating room bright? I've been bathing myself for over three decades now, so I'm pretty sure I know where everything is. And trust me, if I find something new, you can be sure I'll turn the lights on.

Of course, that's not as ridiculous as when people leave the bathroom light on when they go on vacation -- so burglars will think they're still home. Who is this fooling? Can't you see it? Two would-be-burglars casing your house:

"So, what do you think are they home?"
"Well, if they are, they've all been in one bathroom for four hours now."
"Sounds like they've got the flu or something...let's move on, I don't want to catch anything."

Oh, and people that put a radio on a timer to fool everyone. So now if someone's listening in your house, they figure you're either too poor to own a TV or you're senile and waiting for FDR to make a speech.

Want to keep people out of your house when you're gone? Put duct tape over most of, but not all of, your basement windows, turn on one 100 watt bulb, and play a cd of chainsaw sounds.

Once burglars think you're in the basement disposing of the body, they'll move on.

1 comment:

  1. oh, I'm completely doing the duct tape thing!


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