Mail Call: The Man of the People

I received this joke via e-mail -- apparently it's a classic (which I'm reading as "public domain"). Here's my version:

Of course, the Bible tells us that Jesus was Jewish. But even if it didn't, there are 3 good arguments to back it up:
1. He went into His Fathers business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin . . . and his Mother was sure he was God.

It's also been said that Jesus was Black -- and there are 3 good arguments to support that as well:
1. He called everyone "brother"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial

...but then are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands
2. He had wine with every meal
3. He used olive oil

But wait, there's more. There are also three equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut his hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion

Surprisingly, there are even 3 good arguments that Jesus was a woman:

1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3. Even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for Him to do.

(As for me, I'm just hoping Jesus appreciates a good joke...)