Flip Phone Emergency

Friday Fun Fact:

If you dial 6-1-1 they play a recorded message...

...telling you to turn the phone around and dial again.




Of course, you'll be listening to the mouthpiece, so you probably won't hear it.

For more badly needed information, click here.

Tags:
funny observational+humor humor lazycomic

The Sixth Senseless: Bet You Didn't Know No. 6

Back and better* than ever! More fabulous, fun (fake) facts to share with your friends and neighbors:

• Despite their name, Quincy is the only Little Einstein that is actually Jewish.
• If Mrs. Limbaugh had won the bet, millions of conservatives would tune in each day to listen to a man named Van Halen Limbaugh.
• In an embarrassing move in 2005, the government accidentally sent out 1,400 letters calling up members of the Salvation Army to active duty.
  
• Although the moon appears larger closer to the horizon, if you bend over and look at it from between your legs most people will stop looking at the sky.
• For decades, many congressmen voted to increase the number of government grants because they assumed they were only $50 each.

*"Better" only applies in comparison to other Bet You Didn't Know installments...

...and seriously, it's not that high a hurdle.

Keep up, damnit! Read the whole "Bet You Didn't Know" Series.

Like it? Then Digg it, baby.

Tags:
funny observational+humor humor lazycomic

A Fifth of Uselessness

Like that odd rash, Bet You Didn't Know is back. Get your highlighters and a Red Bull so you cram in every fascinating bit:

• In 14 states, Super Delegates actually wear capes. In Iowa, hiring preference is given to those with previous building jumping experience.
• After video of the event was exposed, Shorty had to admit that she initially "misspoke" and didn't really go that low at all.
  
• People who say tow-mah-tow are likely to have commitment issues and will frequently call the whole thing off.
• No matter how loud you yell at the ear piece, the phone in fact does not work both ways.

and finally (well, for now)...

• 4 out of 5 people who expect the last item in a list to be the best are usually disappointed.
  

Keep up, damnit! Read the whole "Bet You Didn't Know" Series.

Tags:
funny observational+humor humor lazycomic

Tags:
funny observational+humor humor lazycomic

Tags:
funny observational+humor humor lazycomic

Bet You Didn't Know #4 - Quattro Crappo

We're Baaack...

Just when you thought you knew it all. Here are more faux facts to keep your friends at the knitting club enthralled:

• On an average year, 340 foreigners leave American grocery stores horrified after misunderstanding what "baby food" is.
• It's predicted that the "No Child Left Behind" Act will eventually guarantee that everyone is smarter than a fifth grader.
• Due to improvements in toothpaste, it now takes 20 dental cleanings to create 1 ounce of tartar sauce.
• In order to keep Fairy Tales current, the "goose that lays the golden egg" has been replaced by the "antelope that pees 87 octane."

and finally (well, for now)...

• Tragically, 15% of parents that buy a "World's Best Daughter" t-shirt have more than one daughter.

Keep up, damnit! Read the whole "Bet You Didn't Know" Series.

Tags:
funny observational+humor humor lazycomic

Tags:
funny observational+humor humor lazycomic

Bet You Didn't Know III - Menagerie a Trois

They say the third time's the charm, and here's something to prove that wrong. More fascinating, useless and, ultimately, fake facts to share with the odd-looking guy at the coffee shop. Enjoy.

Bet You Didn't Know...

• Jimmy Buffet's grandfather became famous for inventing all-you-can-eat dining.
• On a related note, controversial studies have show that, when forced, most people could actually eat more.
• Scientist now believe that when no one is around to hear, trees actually lay down quietly.
• John McCain is so pale he's been known to blind on-coming drivers at night.
• Over 70% of the population is taller than average.
• Einstein had an unpublished theory that taking large amounts of caffeine didn't make your heart beat faster, but in fact made the rest of the universe move slower.

and finally...

• Ironically, most people with mullets actually do very little business up front.

"Bet You Didn't Know" isn't like LOST - you can miss one and still keep up, but what's the fun it that? To see all the things you didn't know, Click Here...now.

Bet You Didn't Know - Number 2

You asked for it (well, no you actually didn't), here are more incredible, entertaining, thoroughly-unproven pieces of "infotainment" to share with your friends, clergy and local representatives.

Bet You Didn't Know...

• Because of their solitary nature, it was actually rare for hermits to have crabs.
• Floor and Door both have the common latin root -oor, which means "stiff and flat." Likewise, the term "poor" originally referred to people who had starved to death and were, therefore, stiff and flat.
• George W. Bush is the 30th President who could not pronounce the word "nuclear." However, the other 29 were elected before the word came into existence.
• The meat industry is suppressing promising research that would lead to peas that taste and look like ham.
• If you scream "Bloody Mary" into the bathroom mirror 13 times, someone who was sleeping will come kick your ass.

More coming soon, so go to lazycomic.blogspot.com and hit refresh every 15 seconds.

...or click here to see the first installment of BYDK.

Bet You Didn't Know - Installment 1

Welcome to Steve D.'s virgin listing of "Bet You Didn't Know." Fun little factoids that you should repeat to friends, coworkers and undercover police officers to astound them with your intellect.

Bet You Didn't Know:

• Environmentalist now predict that if atomic energy continues to proliferate, there will be a worldwide atom shortage by 2031.
• David Spade's ex-girlfriends have started an online support network called MySpade.
• If you stare at a cat long enough, it will eventually ask you, in plain English, if you "have a problem."
• The fifteenth leading cause of pregnancy is Jagermeister.
• If you put all the lawyers in the United States in a single line around the Equator, everything would be just fine.
• In 2000 years, the top 3 inches of the surface of the United States will be covered with dislodged magazine subscription cards.
• Sixty-five percent of people who decline to be polled believe that there is an actual pole involved in the process.

Need more? Click here for all the "Bet You Didn't Know" installments.