The Power of the Spoken Word

I hope I don't get sued.

The other day I heard an ad for a "program" you can pay for that teaches you the right vocabulary to use with your unruly children. From disobedience to ADD, you'll learn what to say to your child to end their disruptive behavior immediately.

I wondered what these magic words were...and then it came to me. I don't want to give away their trade secret, but I bet it goes something like this:

After your teen finishes breakfast, just as they run out the door, give them this note:

"Dear Son/Daughter - I put a poison in your breakfast. I'll give you the anecdote tonight...
...if you behave."