...it's much like the "Bet You Didn't Know" features of old, but requires less effort -- on both your part and, more importantly, on mine.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Thought of the Day
Labels:
funny photo,
math,
original bit,
Shamless Plug
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
A Bedtime Story in Two Panels
...it's good to be back.
Labels:
faves,
funny photo,
original bit
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Teabagging the T-Party
How the Coons/O'Donnell debate should've gone...
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Porcelain God
I'm worried...and not just that I'll lose the hair on my head and have to use my ear hair for a comb over.
I'm worred that modern bathrooms are undermining Christian beliefs...
...and not just on the morning after the office Christmas party.
I know what you're thinking: "Steve I feel same way...explain to my non-believing friends." Well call 'em over the computer, because here's how it goes:
Back there in the first part of the bible, before all the begats, there's a rule (I know, there are lots of rules, but this is one of the big ones they put on the bulletin board at Sunday School).
The rules is about not praying to idols...I think it's one of the important ones. And, with the exception of the neo-cons that prostate themselves to Anne Coulter's latest book every night*, it's pretty much stuck with us...
...until now.
Now, whenever you use a "modern"public bathroom you don't have to touch anything. Correction, you should still touch somethings -- seriously people a little coordination and aim would really help here -- but I digress...
To be more accurate, you can't touch anything -- at least not to turn it on. Want soap? Better start trying to air stroke the movement detector just right or you'll be there all day, covered in filth. Want water? Again with the clasping and waving.
At the end of it all, you end of with your hands clasps together, waving them and begging for cleanliness from the red, all-seeing eyes. If it's been a long day you actually beg out loud.
Then you end up doing a similar act of contrition to the paper towel gods to get the 4" of rough dry manna they give you to dry your hands with. (Or you get to use one of the new, improved air blowers, which can now blow the skin from your fingers back to your wrists but somehow -- through demonic magic, I'm sure -- still manage not get them dry).
Now that you've been warned, I hope you'll turn away from sin and join those of us that see this evil trickery for what it is. Come join us...
...just don't shake our hands.
*This claim that Anne Coulter fans are actually idol-worshipers is stated as fact even though there is no proof to back it up -- which seems very appropriate.
Labels:
original bit
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Right on Target...
I wish this was an amusing, original post about the backlash against the Minnesota-based retailer, but it's not (you're welcome). Instead, it's a post about another backlash...
...and another, um, target.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Empty Space
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. A couple months ago I went to MySpace to check in on my old site and, well, I tripped and fell. I laid there for days and no one came by to help -- it was awful.
Finally I thought I heard someone else log in, but it was just some a-hole promoting a garage band. He just uploaded a horrible video and left -- imagine laying there for two weeks listening to some spoiled kids from the burbs talk about how horrible it is to be rich and bored.I tried posting to del.icio.us for help, but let's face it, unless it's a photo of a nude celebrity or a wild conspiracy theory, no one reads anything there. I got smarter when I posted to reddit.com and said that I was a hot 20 year old blonde with a fetish for overweight, over-confident guys who love PHP progamming and that I needed help configuring my linux box...
...I was almost trampelled with the response.
Anyway, I'm glad to be back, and wanted to celebrate by sharing this little gem, courtesy of http://www.livfilms.com/:
Labels:
facebook,
Shamless Plug,
video
Friday, May 14, 2010
Black on Beck
Yea...I had nothing to do with this, but boy I wish I had. Lewis Black is everything I like about comedy: intelligent, loud, political and angry. Enjoy...
Labels:
faves,
news commentary,
politics,
priceless,
video
Monday, May 03, 2010
Those Suspicious Types
Phoenix, Monday, May 3 - Following Saturday evening's thwarted bombing, Arizona is passing new legislation authorizing police to pull over any white man that appears to be in his 40's and driving an SUV, to check for criminal activity.
Labels:
news commentary,
original bit,
spoof
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
It was like going to that "other" mall...
Saw this one over at MySpace...and figured no one else would see it there, so here it is -- one of my favorite amateur, self-effacing, piano, song videos:
Thursday, February 25, 2010
This Just In(box)
New reports indicate that married women are twice as likely to be obese as single women. When asked why, one researcher explained:
"Single women come home at the end of the day, look what's in the fridge, shake their heads and go to bed...
...while married women come home at the end of the day, look what's in bed, shake their heads and go to the fridge."
...while married women come home at the end of the day, look what's in bed, shake their heads and go to the fridge."
(Thanks to regular* reader Rick for sending this along.)
*Rick's regularity is sponsored by FiberOne.
Labels:
commentary,
friends,
joke,
marriage
Friday, January 22, 2010
Rather Good Stuff, Indeed
A friend posted this on facebook and I wanted to spread the word to my loyal readers (both of you). Check out the video below and then head on over to rathergood.com -- tell them Steve D. sent you*
*And when they say "Steve who?" simply say "Never mind..."
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Two Quickies
The other day I overheard publishing analyst wondering if John Heilemann would be able to sell as many books if he wasn't so light-skinned.
Also, there's a new bill in congress to move the Winter Soltice to April 21st, pointing out that the current date makes is too cold and the early sunset limits the ability for supporters to hold evening events.
Labels:
news commentary,
politics,
spoof
Friday, December 11, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Shameless Plug...
Disturbing brown stain aside, Artie Lange's new DVD is an awesome piece of comedy, put together just the way I like it: dark, self-effacing and very damn funny.
As you know, Artie and I go way back...meaning we're both over 40 and haven't actually met. Still, I'm sure he'd plug my DVD (if I had one...and if he'd ever heard of me), so I figured I'd pay it forward and send my minions (all 4 of you) out looking for the DVD.
Labels:
faves,
Shamless Plug,
video
Greasing the Wheels
I've been trying to follow politics recently, and it seems everyone is always talking about how this is a "slippery slope," that's a "slippery slope," etc. etc.
I swear if I ever find the guy that coined the phrase slippery slope, I'm going to put him on skates and push him off a cliff. Better yet, I'm going to put him on skates and push him down a gentle hill so it almost seems like fun but then it gets steeper and steeper and then it goes off a cliff.
He'll never see it coming.
Labels:
commentary,
original bit
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Ye of Little Faith...
So, everyone's still talking about Falcon Heene and whether or not this whole ballooon thing was a hoax.
I swear I haven't heard this much talk about a reality TV star in the closet since the last season of American Idol.
Labels:
american idol,
joke,
news commentary,
original bit,
tv
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Carried Away...
So, it turns out that little Falcon Heene was never on the balloon, but hid in the closet while military helicopters went out looking for him and the Denver Airport was temporarily shut down.
Needless to say, I'm sure he's, um, grounded.
Labels:
news commentary,
original bit
Passin' It Around...
I know I'm due for an original post, but just hold your friggin' horses.
In the mean time, I wanted to share a vid that regular reader Rick sent in:
more later, I promise.
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