Not to channel the spirit of Andy Rooney, but...
Did you ever notice that you can change just about any compliment into an insult by placing the phrase "From a distance" in front of it.
Here are some to get you started:
"You look really attractive."
"You look like you've aged well."
"You can't even see that stain."
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Nearsighted Insult
Labels:
original bit
Friday, March 21, 2008
Follow Every Intimate Detail
Well, not every detail. But if you use twitter and want to follow my constant (well, occassional) rambles, you can follow me:
http://twitter.com/lazycomic
Imagine hearing every insightful thought that comes into my odd, twisted mind...
....at least the ones that come into my mind when I'm near an internet connection
...and not too lazy to type.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Don't Forget the Sunblock
Nothing like a well-written, funny, slightly disturbing video parody to get the week rolling.
More stuff to come, so stop back soon. Unfortunately, most of it will probably be original.
Friday, March 14, 2008
A Good Set of Bumpers...
I noticed something recently: most of the folks with a "God is my Co-pilot" bumper sticker on their car should probably just let Him drive.
Also, have you noticed that the guys with the "Terrorist Hunting Permit" stickers don't seem to be throwing a very wide net? I mean, if a terrorist shows up at the farmer's market or the Super Walmart, he's a dead man - but otherwise I don't think these guys are gonna pull their limit.
Labels:
bumper sticker,
church,
original bit,
politics
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Bet You Didn't Know #4 - Quattro Crappo
We're Baaack...
Just when you thought you knew it all. Here are more faux facts to keep your friends at the knitting club enthralled:
- On an average year, 340 foreigners leave American grocery stores horrified after misunderstanding what "baby food" is.
- It's predicted that the "No Child Left Behind" Act will eventually guarantee that everyone is smarter than a fifth grader.
- Due to improvements in toothpaste, it now takes 20 dental cleanings to create 1 ounce of tartar sauce.
- In order to keep Fairy Tales current, the "goose that lays the golden egg" has been replaced by the "antelope that pees 87 octane."
- Tragically, 15% of parents that buy a "World's Best Daughter" t-shirt have more than one daughter.
Labels:
BYDK,
kids,
original bit,
politics
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