Friday, December 15, 2006

One Man's Spam...

I'm not sure what the point of spam is anymore. I mean, I suppose there's someone out there who gets excited that they've won a lottery from a country they've never heard of - you know, the lottery held in a foreign state that apparently has millions of dollars to give away but has to use a address that reads like a eplileptic at the keyboard - but I think most of us are on to the majority of the scams out there.

The ones that really puzzle me are the ones that don't include a link or phone number to call if you do fall prey. It's like they got lazy. "Hey, I've got this hot, nymphomaniac Russian babe who's just dying to take care of your wildest fantasies. All you know what, never mind...sorry to bother you."

Now there is one time that we still believe spam: when it's in someone else's inbox. Then we automatically assume that it's all e-mail that someone went to great lengths to request. The conversation goes like this:

    Tom: "Hey Mary, whacha up to?"
    Mary: "Clearing out Ron's e-mail to make way for his replacement."

    Tom:"Weird, Ron quitting like that."
    Mary: "Not really. Ron had other things on his mind."

    Mary: "Oh yeah, for starters, I think he was selling drugs."

    Tom: "Nooo, I don't see Ron doing that."
    Mary: "It's true. His inbox is still full of offers to buy something called v1@gra at wholesale prices."

    Tom: "So Ron quit working because he got rich selling drugs?"
    Mary: "Oh no, I think he needed that money to pay for the patches."

    Tom: "What patches?"
    Mary: "Well, it seems Ron was buying patches to, um, enhance his manhood..."

    Tom: "Really?"
    Mary: "...and to increase his breast size. His inbox is full of competing offers."

    Tom: "What a why'd he quit if he needed money?"
    Mary: "That's the thing. It looks like he caught a lucky break. He apparently gets to keep 10% of an inheritance he's helping sneak out of Nigeria. Some government officials widow."

    Tom: "Wow, money laundering, that's heavy stuff. Wonder how Ron got involved in that."

    Mary: "Probably the drugs..."

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