Friday, January 19, 2007

Life with a Wedge of Lime

So, I took one of those cheesy "you are" tests, and it came back that if I was a beer, I'd be a Corona. Now, the idea that my personality matches a Corona, is all cool with know, in a calypso beach party kinda way.

So I was pretty content with the analysis...until I read the damn thing:

You Are Corona

You don't drink for the love of beer. You drink to get drunk.

You prefer a very light, very smooth beer. A beer that's hardly a beer at all.

And while you make not like the taste of beer, you like the feeling of being drunk.

You drink early and often. Sometimes with friends. Sometimes alone. All the party needs is you!

What's this guy got against Corona? I mean, it's not opague and spicy and yes, there is something to be said about any beverage that you have to add something to. But just because you put hot fudge on Breyer's doesn't mean it's not good ice cream.

Granted, no one adds anything to a Guiness, but what the hell would you add...bacon? (Yes, I now realize that one of you will add bacon to your next bottle of Guiness -- just do me two favors: cook it [the bacon] first and let me know how it turns out.)

"Hardly a beer at all?" Damn, that's harsh. I mean, the guy that wrote this is not getting VIP treatment at a Buffet concert anytime soon.

And who the hell drinks Corona alone? First off, one of the best parts about drinking is that it makes other people more interesting. And if you're gonna drink alone, you probably want it to move a little quicker than Corona speed.

Anyway, I gotta go. My bottle's empty, I'm out of lime and there's no one here to get me another beer.

Besides, I've got to get up early and start drinking. You know, it's always a party...


  1. Ha, that sounds exactly like you! I got "You are Guinness": "You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world.
    Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them. When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well. But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around."

    Don't hold it against me, Steve! ;-)

  2. sorry steve, no lime here. I'm a Guinness, apparently you tollerate me because I introduce you to new beers.

  3. Oh, the irony. If irony were a beer, this would be a thick, black, strong one.

  4. I'm Samuel Adams:
    You're fairly easy to please when it comes to beer - as long as it's not too cheap.
    You tend to change favorite beers frequently, and you're the type most likely to take a "beers of the world" tour.
    When you get drunk, you're fearless. You lose all your inhibitions.
    You're just as likely to party with a group of strangers as you are to wake up in a very foreign place.

    Looking forward to the next "tea party" - Jim

  5. Since I came up as a Guinness myself, and because I have had a sip of a Guinness that was poured just for me at the Dublin brewery (and yes, it was just a sip because at the time I was not the beer snob that I am today), I can say that you can, in fact, add something to a Guinness. The one poured for me had a touch of black currant in it, and I was told this might make it more tolerable to non-stout didn't. Also, if you can call it adding, you can add Harp and create the lovely Black & Tan...but I don't know if it is technically adding since they stay pretty separate after its poured.


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