Contain yourself

The other day I heard an ad for "the world's most exciting cat show." I noticed they stopped short of saying the world's most exciting pet show...I guess they know that no one can really compete with what Michael Vick puts together.

I actually thought it was an odd way to bill a cat show at all, actually. Are they really that exciting? Does it take work to make a cat show more exciting than any other cat show in the world?

What I'm really worried about is that this'll set off a whole competition. I'm thinking there's a cat show somewhere in Alabama that's gonna add lasers, then one on the west coast will do a whole feline medieval jousting act.

It'll just keep going up and up until some promoter puts cat treats at the end of a long waxed floor that slopes towards a wood chipper*.

And one thing is for sure: I doubt the cats think these things are that exciting. A bag of catnip and a ball of tin foil pretty much set the standard for exciting to a cat...or maybe a mouse with a bad leg and a strong constitution.

*And no, I am in no way suggesting cats should be put anywhere near a wood chipper. Wood chippers are expensive...and a pain to clean.