Closetapedia?

Here's a new one: What do you call over 2 million people with an interest in homosexuality?

Homosexuals, perhaps?
Maybe "curious?"

Snappy dressers?

According to the stats over at Conservapedia.com, it looks like you'd call them Conservatives. I saw a screen shot showing older stat results over at About.com, but had to go and take a look for myself - here's what I found:


Sure enough, what conservatives appear to want to learn about isn't being conservative...

...it's about being gay.

Now, it's not for me to say that if you're homosexual that you can't be conservative (or vice versa) - heck, there are poor conservatives and that really doesn't make sense.

Maybe you like the pinstripe shirts and power ties....
Maybe you're interest in the death penalty and cheap oil tops your interest in gay rights...
...or maybe you figure that if Republicans are hooking up in the men's room and sending juicy e-mail to male interns then they really aren't that far off base.

Either way, it's a free country (well, sort of).

But seriously, can't we all agree that conservatives are probably not the best source of information on homosexuality?

I mean, you don't go look to Democrats for advice on winning elections or delivering on a mandate, so why look to conservatives for information on homosexuality (#1)...
...or homosexuality and health (#10)
...or homosexuality and anal cancer (#9)?

Is this what conservatives are really concerned about? That would explain a lot.

I mean, if I thought my anal cancer might be a result of my lifestyle choice than I probably wouldn't care about the economy either...or about the war...or about the greenhouse effect. (Heck, another few degrees warmer in DC and the pages will have to wear shorts - maybe there is an agenda here.)

The only other conclusion I can come to is that there are 2 million plus teenagers out there with (1) a sudden "curiosity" and (2) a mom (with a screen name like "NeoConMom67") that prevented the family PC from going to any non-conservative site. So they're left with Bill O'Reilly to explain to them what a "threesome" is, Rush Limbaugh to teach them about how to "doctor-shop," and, of course, Conservapedia.com to teach them about alternative lifestyles.

Now, not all the hot searches were about homosexuality. There were also searches on Conservapedia about Wikipedia. I didn't look, but I'd bet Conservapedia describes the later as a "an evil response to Conservapedia created by communist professors, the liberal media, and, of course, Wiccans.*"


*Actually, I did look. They don't claim that it has anything to do with Wiccans, and they don't disagree that Wikipedia came first. As for the evil leftist design at Wikipedia, I was pretty much dead on.

Tags:
funny observational+humorconservapedia humor lazycomic