Breaking Fake News:
Sarah Palin is expected to announce tomorrow a new allegation against Democratic candidate Barrak Obama. In a leaked teleprompter script, it appears Palin will pile on Obama:
"My friends, I am sad to say that our opponent has been silent on new allegations we have heard that he contains up to 80 percent trans-fats. Now I don't know about you guys, but in Alaska we don't like trans-fats in anything, and we certainly don't want them in the White House!
[pause for applause and cheering - continue after redneck threatens violence or uses racial slur.]
Now, the left would have you believe our opponent is right for America, but we know better don't we? It doesn't take a fancy degree or a bookcase of books...
[pause to allow part of crowd to boo books]
...or a bookcase of leftist non-fiction books to know that trans-fats cause the cancer. Is that what you want? Cancer? John McCain and I know you don't want cancer, and that's why we're working so darn hard to get the word out. I just don't understand why our opponent has been so silent on answering these charges. I guess for that one and his kind it's patriotic to raise taxes, but not to be honest with the country that you're loaded with cancer-causing trans-fats!
[wink at audience, pause for applause]
[Improvise ending, be sure to include "Maverick," "terrorist," and "drill, baby, drill;" work in "Ronald Reagan" if possible. Complete sentences optional.]