So, I took one of those cheesy "you are" tests, and it came back that if I was a beer, I'd be a Corona. Now, the idea that my personality matches a Corona, is all cool with me...you know, in a calypso beach party kinda way.
So I was pretty content with the analysis...until I read the damn thing:
| You Are Corona |
 You don't drink for the love of beer. You drink to get drunk. You prefer a very light, very smooth beer. A beer that's hardly a beer at all. And while you make not like the taste of beer, you like the feeling of being drunk. You drink early and often. Sometimes with friends. Sometimes alone. All the party needs is you! |
What's this guy got against Corona? I mean, it's not opague and spicy and yes, there is something to be said about any beverage that you have to add something to. But just because you put hot fudge on Breyer's doesn't mean it's not good ice cream.
Granted, no one adds anything to a Guiness, but what the hell would you add...bacon? (Yes, I now realize that one of you will add bacon to your next bottle of Guiness -- just do me two favors: cook it [the bacon] first and let me know how it turns out.)
"Hardly a beer at all?" Damn, that's harsh. I mean, the guy that wrote this is not getting VIP treatment at a Buffet concert anytime soon.
And who the hell drinks Corona alone? First off, one of the best parts about drinking is that it makes other people more interesting. And if you're gonna drink alone, you probably want it to move a little quicker than Corona speed.
Anyway, I gotta go. My bottle's empty, I'm out of lime and there's no one here to get me another beer.
Besides, I've got to get up early and start drinking. You know, it's always a party...
