Saturday, February 23, 2008

Yesterday's Top Stories

Rumors circulated this week that Senator John McCain (71) was romantically involved with a female lobbyist. In related news, the number of male senior citizens interested in running for Senate is up by 300%...
...while the number of women interested in being lobbyists has fallen by 94%.

Hillary Clinton has now lost eight primaries in a row, prompting her to change her campaign theme to "Consistency."

Finally, in order to force the Senate to pay attention to the needs in war-torn Iraq, Soldiers are reportedly paying Iraqi athletes to publicly confess to using steroids.

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