Sunday, September 24, 2006 'bout this weather?

Have you ever noticed that when you bump into someone you know, but not well, that you default to talking about the weather.

Your "nonversation" starts with something like "So, it sure is hot/cold/dry/wet today," and then goes to "yea, I hope it's cooler/warmer/wet/dry tomorrow."

It's like we default to some conversational lowest common denominator. Basically you're saying "I can't trust that your smart enough to talk about anything besides the most menial of observable facts."

So you turn to the weather.

How about we raise the bar a little? Give the people we bump into something to take home and scratch their heads about. The next time someone comes up to you and starts one of these nonversations(tm), avoid the comments about the weather and try something like this:

Insipid Passerby: "Hey, what's up?"
You: "Well, I'm not dead."
Insipid Passerby: "Um...yeah, I guess so."
You: "Hey, you're not dead yet, either..."
Insipid Passerby: "Um, no. Well...see you around."
You: "Unless I die."
Insipid Passerby: "um, ookay..."
You: "...or if you die."

Not only have you given them something to think about...chances are next time you pass them in the hall they'll just look the other way.

Now, if the weather is what we default to when we bump into people that might be idiots, what does that say about the weather reports on TV? I mean, they give us five minutes of "weather forecasting," where four-and-a-half mintes is reporting the weather that's already happened. What the f*ck is with that? Why would I care what the weather was like earlier? What can I do with that information?

Then they get to my favorite part: what the weather is like right now. I mean, this is really useful information, unless, of course, you have either a window or a door. Then I'm pretty sure you could figure it out for yourself.

Then they have 15 seconds or so to tell me all the weather that's forecasted for the next seven days for every hole in the ground within 150 miles of the studio. After treating us like idiots for most of the last five minutes, now they expect us to have the razor sharp attention of a meth-addicted air traffic controller.

I say screw it, keep an umbrella handy and deal with it. I sure hope it's cooler/warmer/wet/dry tomorrow.


  1. I think I'll have to add the death lines to my repotoire. I heard that if you changed your standard answer to "How are you today?" from "Good thanks!" to "Shit, just shit..." that you cut down your interuption levels by up to 90%!!

    Thanks for dropping by my blog.

  2. Interesting idea. Just think if most conversations could be reduced to the death exchange, how much time we'd have for LIFE!??!


  3. Hey, that "dead" part sounds vaguely familiar. The "nonversation" term is new though.

    I gotta stop talking to you when I'm drunk; you're stealing my thoughts. Oh wait, then I probably would lose touch with you altogether.

    Funny stuff, Stevie D!


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